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I used to hate losing a prospect.
I'd spend days (sometimes weeks) building lists, developing offers, creating marketing materials, and building funnels.
If I was lucky, one day someone would eventually respond. And if they passed a few basic qualification steps I'd convert them into a consultation.
Then I'd give them my best stuff for an hour or two.
Listening to their problems, understanding their issues, showing the implications of their decisions, establishing needs, wants, and desires, and building value for my solution. Telling them exactly what they needed to do to get to the next level.
They loved it and I always got positive feedback.
I'd even write it all up in an 8-12 page proposal.
They loved those as well.
I knew I could help them and was keen to get started.
But eventually, more often than not, they'd go with someone else.
I took it personally.
How could I not?
I gave my best and they rejected me.
Then the cycle would repeat again.
Over time I improved my processes and my conversions increased. I developed better qualifying strategies and wasted less time with people who would never become a client. Turned the client-getting process on it's head and got paid before speaking with a prospect.
But I also learned a valuable lesson:
You can do everything right and still lose a prospect.
Because when you deal with people you deal with fuzzy logic and randomness.
People will say no for a hundred reasons that have nothing to do with you.
And you're probably not going to close 100% no matter how good you get.
You win some and you lose some.
So it's important not to get emotionally attached to any one prospect.
And when you truly don't care whether they say yes or no -- when you learn the art of emotional detachment -- you start to become magnetic and get more yeses.